“My wife keeps asking me: ‘Why did you cheat? If you love me the way you say you do, how could you have done this to me?’ I wish I had an answer, but the truth is, I really don’t know. It kills me that my not knowing keeps her
Betrayal Trauma and Moral Injury
We all have the potential to act in ways that contradict our own values, and in doing so, undertake actions that can be damaging to ourselves and, potentially, others. Yes, even “good” people can make “poor” behavioral choices. These self-contradictions can be difficult to make sense of and are often
Guide to Surviving Infidelity
If you’re in an intimate relationship devastated by infidelity, you know the feeling of the solid relationship ground you’ve come to rely on suddenly turning to quicksand under your feet. You are likely reading this article because you’re struggling with this incredibly disorienting and painful experience, and you’re at a
Compartmentalization, Escapism, and the Beleaguered Self
Seeking out pleasurable or restorative activities are forms of self-care that can bring much-needed balance to our lives. And because work and home life demand so much of you, you might find that you need to be intentional about integrating these types of beneficial activities into your life because otherwise,
The Shame of the Cheating Spouse
Eric’s marriage didn’t survive his infidelity. After attempting to recover from his affair for over two years (attempts that included infidelity counseling, affair recovery workshops and reading numerous books on healing betrayal trauma), Eric and his wife Cassandra made the painful decision to end their marriage. Before then, the couple