“I never imagined I’d end up betrayed by my partner,” said Tanya, age 44. “In my mind, infidelity was something that happened to other couples. Ones who didn’t communicate, or those who didn’t have anything in common. I was so wrong.” Tanya and Marcus had been married for sixteen years
Affair Recovery: How Remorse Heals
“Before I messed everything up by having an affair, my partner and I used to say that our relationship was like a continuous love letter. Since my affair, we’ve been through a lot. And that’s an understatement. What’s helping us feel more connected is that now my role in the
Understanding the Grip of Toxic Shame
This is the latest installment of articles on toxic shame. I have been focusing on shame and the role it plays in emotional suffering for several reasons. First, it is a central experience in childhood for many who have suffered traumatic attachment wounds. Whether the shame remains fully conscious or
Debunking Common Myths about Cheating
When you experience something you’ve never experienced before, it can be difficult to distinguish fact from fiction, especially when the experience includes emotional pain. If you’ve been betrayed by an unfaithful partner, or if you’re the partner who had the affair, your mind is likely running through common societal beliefs
Childhood Wounds and the Legacy of Shame
There are a wide range of issues that can motivate someone to start therapy. Anxiety and depression, struggles with alcohol and/or substances, relationship challenges, and the fallout of infidelity are common examples. Emotional distress, self-sabotaging behaviors, or a pervasive sense of unease often stem from underlying issues that may not