Childhood trauma leaves lasting imprints on one’s psyche, shaping how individuals perceive themselves and relate to others. For men, societal expectations and norms about strength and emotional restraint can exacerbate these scars, with shame often playing a central, unacknowledged role. One of the most insidious aspects of shame, especially toxic
Understanding the Grip of Toxic Shame
This is the latest installment of articles on toxic shame. I have been focusing on shame and the role it plays in emotional suffering for several reasons. First, it is a central experience in childhood for many who have suffered traumatic attachment wounds. Whether the shame remains fully conscious or
Childhood Wounds and the Legacy of Shame
There are a wide range of issues that can motivate someone to start therapy. Anxiety and depression, struggles with alcohol and/or substances, relationship challenges, and the fallout of infidelity are common examples. Emotional distress, self-sabotaging behaviors, or a pervasive sense of unease often stem from underlying issues that may not
The Destructive Path of Toxic Shame
“I wish I could be more like my friend Jermaine. When he gets rejected, he just shrugs and lets it roll off his back. ‘Their loss,’ he’ll say, sometimes with a tinge of anger. But not me. When I get rejected, I sink down into a shame response so deep
Are You Enslaving Yourself to Secrets?
Secrets…everyone has some, right? And, as long as you keep them locked away, as long as they don’t escape and end up in the wrong ears, they’re harmless, right? Well… You start by keeping a secret; but the bigger the secret (in other words, the more vigilantly you feel you